Lowcountry Ramblers

 

Judicial fairness

Stephen Byrne, the SCANA executive who was knee-deep in the nuclear power plant scandal that cost ratepayers $9 billion, was sentenced to 15 months of home confinement. In other news, a Charleston jury recently sent a homeless man to prison for robbing a Zippy mart of $37. Meanwhile, policy wonks are thinking that all South Carolina county fairs should employ dunking booths for the dozens of the responsible SCANA officials who created the monster that robbed our pocketbooks and deprived us of needed nuclear energy for the future; however, the reality is that many are still milking the monopolistic system and their good old boy connections for all they’re worth.

  

Palmetto Bowl season regrets

The 2024 football bowl season was cruel to both Clemson, USC, the ACC and SEC. One wag noted that the SEC is on the way down, “now that other teams can pay their players, too.”

 

Like Aunt Esther?

Four teenage girls attacked and attempted to rob a 71-year-old woman in the NYC subway. What they didn’t know was that she, like the late LaWanda Page’s character Aunt Esther from Sanford and Son, was on the way to church — and age, guile and Holy Ghost power beats everything. The four teens fled after the woman got through “taking care of business.”

 

See that woman all dressed in white …

Doug Clark and the Hot Nuts would have come up with a zinger about this story. Madonna, 66, is flashing a ring showing her engagement to her 28-year-old boyfriend. Boomer fans are thrilled with the news, as none of them knew Madonna was still alive.

 

Never would have happened here

The Columbia City Council has denied a vendor’s application to open a new liquor store, after residents complained it would make the area less desirable for homebuyers. Lowcountry residents, flush-faced from the holiday season, were perplexed at the attitudes of these residents of the Midlands. While pouring some amber fluid on the rocks, one Charlestonian retold the oldest joke about regional small talk:  An Upstate chap will ask:  Where do you go to church? The Midlands lad will say:  Where did you go to school? The Lowcountry gent will inquire:  What will you have to drink?

 

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